This was a particular favourite spiral descent for my thoughts, and always left me maudlin. Red wire and maudlin thoughts were not a combination I yearned for at this time. I had these two gorgeous young men for company, and red wine always goes better with hot men! “Sorry! I was miles away.” “I thought we had offended you with our story, that was not my intention.” “Absolutely not,” I said, laughing with slightly f***ed gaiety, “in fact, let’s hear more of them! How does this story end?” “Well, Ben was nowhere to be seen, so I availed myself of our young lady. In fact, he was there the whole time, watching us. Ben was discovering that he liked to watch, perhaps more than he actually liked to screw!” I smiled demurely at Christian as he told the story, but my thoughts were with Ben. As they slipped easily into other stories of shared escapades – most of which seemed to feature Ben as director and audience simultaneously – my thought continually strayed until I found I had cast myself. I was not expecting what happened next. He handed me a pager and said that’s how I would be contacted. He also said I needed to adopt what he called a “trade name” to go by to preserve my privacy. He laughed when I selected the name Linda; it was just the first name that popped into my head. He thought it was funny because it was such an ordinary name.A few days later the pager goes off and I go down to the dorm lobby and use a pay phone to call. This guy tells me where he’s staying and I went back up to my room to change clothes. On the bus ride downtown suddenly the enormity of what I’m about to do hits me and I almost throw up. OMG, I’m going to meet a stranger who is going to pay me for sex! That means only one thing; I will be a prostitute. With the first guy, I already knew him and was attracted to him and it wasn’t any different from the guys I met at parties and dances who I hooked up with. I’d had maybe 6 or 7 one night stands that way and never felt like I was being too.
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